Got rejected? This is how you handle it!

In this post I’m going to share how to handle getting rejected when doing a cold approach. If you’re not familiar with the term cold approach, it’s the act of walking up to a woman that you have never met before and you start talking to her. This woman could be standing in a bar. She could be sitting in a starbucks reading a book. She could be grocery shopping. There are plenty of other scenarios,but the tactic I’m going to teach you guys will work in any scenario!

Many guys will avoid walking up to the woman they want to talk to because they just don’t know how to handle the possibility of getting rejected! The more women you avoid approaching,the more that fear will be deeply rooted in your head. When you know how to handle getting rejected the more approaches you’ll be able to do. The more approaches you do, the better your skillset gets.

Let say you’re in a bar and you see a woman sitting or standing, it doesn’t fucking matter! You already know what you plan on saying. You walk up and deliver your routine or whatever you comes out of your mouth. She turns to you and says “fuck you, get out of my face.” Ouch! That’s gonna be pretty damaging to the average joe.. Most guys are going to walk away with their tail between their legs..

Here’s how to handle it..do not walk away  yet.. Simply turn your back on the girl and just stand there and look for the next girl to approach.. When you see that next girl…APPROACH IMMEDIATELY WITH THE EXACT SAME LINE YOU JUST USED! Here’s what’s going on. when guys approach, they’re usually not too worried about the girl really rejecting them, they’re more worried about the bystanders seeing the rejection going down. Turning your back on the girl and not walking away looks to the outsiders that you were talking to someone that you knew and you two simply stop talking to eachother. It doesn’t look like a rejection to them when you pull off his maneuver. Also, when you immediately do another approach,your brain doesn’t have enough time to go into a cycle of negativity about what just happened! The more you repeat this process throughout the night, you’ll care less and less about getting rejected. The more fearless you become the more the girls will pick up on it in a good way. You’ll start to project a certain energy that’s very attractive to women. There will be just something about you that they can’t get enough of! Give it a try!

Nola

 

 

 

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Don’t quit… Try again!

” I have not failed. I’ve just found a 1000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

I try to live my life by this philosophical quote by Edison on a regular basis. This quote has so much wisdom behind it. When trying to master any craft or achieve something spectacular, a majority of people will experience failure in the beginning. Sometimes LOTS of it! Failure is the key to becoming successful; it all depends on how that person interprets the failure. Some people will interpret that failure as if it’s the end of the world and they will quit. Maybe they can’t handle it, or they may simply not be aware that failure is a stepping stone to getting to the end goal.  Some people have learned to be resilient and are able to overcome those setbacks and to simply try again.

I remember years back when I was first getting into break dancing, I was failing miserably when trying to execute the moves I was training. I have a buddy of mine who is a master at this art form. I would session with this guy and it wasn’t too fun of a session. He pushed me hard when we would practice together. The only two words I would hear out of his mouth was “try again, try again, try again.” I’d get frustrated hearing the same two words, but I’m glad he really drilled it into my brain! A result of me trying over and over again is that I got REAAALY good at my craft!

I encourage students to go out there and make mistakes. I know, it sounds silly to tell a student “Go make mistakes.” However, it is an essential step to getting closer to the main goal.

People can be hard on themselves when they make a mistake or if something doesn’t go the way they planned. They tend to think negative things about themselves and it sabotages the entire learning process. Don’t let that internal dialogue bring you into a cycle of negativity. The best thing to do is not listen to it and to take a more productive form of action. That different form of action is to TRY AGAIN! Each mistake that is made is a chance to take note of what is not working and to make the correct adjustments accordingly.

There are a shit load of occurrences  when you will have to try again when you’re out there in the field approaching women. In the beginning, rejection WILL happen! It’s inevitable.  Get used to it! It happens to us all no matter how good you are. Let say you approach a girl and she tells you to ”fuck off.” That could be very damaging to the newbie student. What do you do? Do you sulk and go home to your laptop and whine to guys on the seduction form on how you got rejected? Or do you simply say ”fuck it, time to try again.” I like the second option better. Don’t you? You’ll be surprised on what results you achieve by simply trying again.

Thanks for reading,’

Nola

How to develop “Natural Game”

Hey guys! Long time no talk..

I’ve been MIA for a bit dealing with things going on in my life.. Some things I’m not too excited about and some positive things as well! Either way positive or negative life events are learning experiences at the end of the day. Because of these things going on,I got this idea for a blog post!

I’m sure a few of you guys know that friend that just seems to have his way with women very effortlessly. He has that natural vibe that draws women towards him. I have friends that are very good with women. None of them studied seduction material(at least that I know of) I was always curious how they got so good! How do you think they developed their ”naturalness?”

I found out that most of them had great identities!

They’re constantly making self improvements and enhancing their identity!They molded their lifestyle a certain way that is magnetic to women. They all have goals they are pursuing. Identity enhancement has some interesting side effects. Most seduction students overlook this part of their progression or don’t pay much attention to it.. They want to learn all the flashy shit and learn to fuck girls in under 2 seconds!! They focus too much on practicing ”game.”  I’ll tell you what.. If your identity sucks,then it’ll weaken other parts of your skillset. There’s only so much you can do to seem like a cool guy for a certain amount of time. Don’t get me wrong guys! I’m not saying to NOT practice your skillset. NO NO NO… Absolutely not! You definitely want to practice openers and using routines to adopt successful attitudes that women find attractive. Get your reps in..You bet! But I’m also saying don’t spend 24 hours working on just the skillset.

If you have a solid identity,you can get away with making several mistakes with women. Why? Because the woman will be generally interested in your lifestyle and YOU as a person. Expanding one’s identity can fix many inner game issues. It can give you a feeling of self fulfillment. Natural conversation flow will be WAYYYY easier, confidence will skyrocket, it can make you not so outcome dependent. The list goes on! I remember when I was first started out learning pick up and my identity wasn’t too strong. I was a great breakdancer and had an okayish job,but that was about it. I was not happy with my lifestyle at the time. I wasn’t involved with dancing all that much because I got sucked into learning about seduction. I was busing tables at the time too. Depending on what someone’s own standards are, a weak identity or lifestyle can result in a bummed out attitude from the guy. He’s not excited about his own life. How is a woman going to get excited and interested about him if he’s not excited about his own life?

A high quality woman doesn’t want to date a loser,hands down! A lot of guys spend too much time studying pick up tactics and not focusing on becoming a naturally interesting person. I’ll say it again guys, I’m not saying to not go into the field to practice your skillset. Get a lot of approaches in and make adjustments when needed. Absolutely! Just please know ”game” with be way easier and feel more ”natural.”

Thanks for reading!

Nola

The importance of fundamentals

When I was in New York city recently doing my first couple of training sessions I realized something. I noticed that most of the  guys coming in were extreme newbies. We literally had to teach them from the ground up. We had to get them started with the most basic ways of how to approach,how to speak,how to stand etc. etc. I’ve been doing this stuff for a while now and it’s all built into MY game. I don’t have to think about it anymore. But,these basic principles were the reason that I got good! I remember when I had to learn all of these small adjustments that made a huge difference in my game. After a while,everything was on autopilot,but these guys didn’t know how to implement these yet! It was crucial that they learn all of the most basic strategies.

So many guys try to run before they can walk. They want to learn the most advanced techniques first. They’re trying to get one night stands when they can’t even approach a girl yet! It’s insane! It takes a lot of patience and dedication. Guys,learn the basics before learning any advanced material! You’re learning process will be so much easier and way less painful! It’s easy to get confused when guys skip learning fundamentals. A lot of guys will give up on pick up because of this reason. They will lose motivation because they’re trying to do the most advanced shit before they learn the basics. You can get laid with JUST solid fundamentals! Some of the fundamentals include, voice tone,body language,fashion, social freedom,frame control etc. etc. If you join Brad’s 30/30 club you’ll gradually learn all of these important basics! If you want to learn them faster then I would suggest a one on one training from one of the experts like myself or one of the other UDS coaches.

Even ONE basic adjustment could change your whole game!

Here’s an example.

We had a guy in NYC that did a training session. He was doing this weird thing with his hands whenever he would go talk to a girl. He would wave them around too much making him look nervous and very fidgety. We told the student to stop moving his hands so much. It made him look nervous to the girl and eventually she would get nervous because of the energy he was projecting. He applied this small tweak and he went to do his next approach. He stopped a girl walking out of the subway and he applied what we told him. They were talking for a couple minutes and they started walking away together. They got to the corner and they walked across the street. We started to follow along,but there was traffic rolling by so we couldn’t cross the street immediately. We finally get across the street,but it was too late! He and that hottie had walked off to her apartment to get down and dirty!! The student got in touch with one of the other coaches the next day saying he got laid! Yep,it’s actually not unusual for a student to get results that quick sometimes.  Learn the basics guys! If you’d like to schedule a training with me, shoot Drew an email at Drew@Bradppresents.com We’ll get your game on track!

Have a good day!

Nola

There’s no time for thinking!

What’s going on guys?!?!

Nola here and today I want to introduce a term to you all you readers that really can make pick up easier. I’ll get to that shortly.

There are times when meeting women where there should be no thinking about what to do next. It’s a matter of acting right then and there! Of course when a student is new, it’s hard to not be in your head. For a while it’s just something that the student has to deal with. It’s a normal part of the process before getting good. Going out and meeting women consistently is a great way to start getting out of your head. When I say ”get out of your head” it simply means that we need to quiet down that little voice inside that says ”do don’t that. It’s too risky” or ”what if people see”  I think you know what voice I’m talking about! It’s the voice that sabotages everything. When you can quiet that voice down then amazing things start happening!! Pick up happens in real times and you have to be mentally quick and prepared about what needs to be done next. When you start getting out of your head you’ll start developing what’s called the ”determining instinct.”

Y’all are probably wondering “What the hell is the determining instinct!?” I didn’t understand it either until I realized what it was and how I experienced it in a real life scenario. The determining instinct is simply when you can make a decision quickly in a real life scenario as opposed to hesitating about what to do. It’s when there’s an opportunity right in front of your face and you either act right then or you overthink it and then the opportunity is gone!! I’ll give y’all an example of how it played out with me. This little story should illustrate it better for you guys.

Here’s the story..

For those of you who don’t know,I breakdance as a hobby. A couple years ago I was doing a dance routine with a big group of people. This was a social circle scenario that I was in. There were 2 hot girls that were dancers in the group. We’ll call one hb:blonde and the other hb:brunette. After we did our performance we went out to eat. I was already flirting with the 2 girls on the regular during practice and what not. So I had them both attracted. The brunette and I already planned on going home together later in the night. So since that was solidified, I tried to think of  way I could fuck the blonde before we all went our separate ways. I knew I’d have to do a public pull with the blonde since I was already going home with the brunette later. I was able to make this decision when the other guys in the group were all sweating the blonde and competing for her attention. I was paying more attention to the brunette and I think that made the blonde jealous a bit. The blonde was also more intrigued with me since I wasn’t giving her that much attention!

Anyway, We all head to another bar. There’s about thirteen of us altogether. All of us roll into the next venue and the BLONDE out of no where says ”I need to go to the bathroom” without even thinking about it, I said ”I have to go too” I took her hand and we both went right into the bathroom! Right then and there. Once we got inside,it was an all out fuck session! There was NO time to think about what to do in that situation when she said ”I have to go to the bathroom.” I just had to act! If I would have hesitated for 3 seconds that opportunity would have vanished! Other people in the group would have said ”I have to go!’ “me too lets all go together!” Hell no! I saw that opportunity and jumped on it. It was so quick that no one in the group had time to call us out on it. They were mind blown. It probably took them about 2 minutes to really comprehend on what just happened.

I fucked the blonde and still went home with the brunette later that night.

How does someone learn the determining instinct?

Well, you develop it by going out a lot and getting a lot of field experience. Doing a bunch of approaches will help develop it. Once that voice quiets down you’ll notice you start acting more and not thinking as much! If you have social anxiety it’s hard to have the determining instinct. It’s about getting out of your head! It’s about pushing your comfort zone to lower your anxiety levels. When someone has anxiety,it’s hard to act immediately in the situation. Do things on a regular basis to gradually expand that comfort zone. The determining instinct is a positive side effect from expanding your comfort zone. Brad’s social freedom exercises is a great way to develop it. Get out there and get your approaches in guys!! You’ll eventually start reaping the benefits when you’re not in your head all the time!

Happy hunting!

Nola

Do you have a car?!

Hey guys!

Nola here with some new dating tips for you playas out there! This post is going to be aimed more at the advanced guys,but I’ll simplify it the best way I can for even newbies to understand. This post is going to be about logistics.

We all know logistics can be a pain in the ass! I mean, I’m sure it’s happened to you. You go approach a hottie in a bar and the set opens great! She’s leaning in,she’s investing a bunch, she’s giving you the ”fuck me” eyes. You then suggest going back to your place,but she can’t leave because she’s with her friends. Maybe she has to wake up early tomorrow. Maybe she doesn’t want her friends to see her leaving with a guy and judging her. After all that work you put in and you then find out she can’t leave the bar/club with you! So fucking frustrating!!

Well fellas, I have a way past that. Y’all can start implementing this asap! I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked if you own a car? Let me tell you,my car has become my best friend when it comes to dealing with logistics! I’ve nailed plenty of girls the same night because of it. I know what some of you are thinking “But Nola,I don’t have a car…wahhhhh” Relax guys,I’ll get to that. Dealing with logistics has become so much easier once I started using my car. Logistics are now in YOUR hands! There are plenty of times when a girl is super into me, she has shitty logistics and I’ll just pull her to my car. If she’s with a group of course I’ll introduce myself to everyone that’s in my target’s peer group. That’s just so the friends know I’m not a creeper. I’ll build some rapport with them. If you have a good vibe and a solid presence you should be fine with the group letting you talk to their friend. A good vibe would consist of not having nervous energy. You’re also willing to meet everyone she’s with. They’ll assume you’re a nice guy. It’s very important to be overly nice to the friends of the target. So make sure you’re not coming across as a complete weirdo first off. To get over nervous energy when talking to a group I’d recommend Brad’s “How to beat approach anxiety” product. Also, you’re fashion should be solid! If you need to help with fashion, Brad has a phenomenal book called “The fashion bible”

Like I said earlier,this post is for more advanced guys. I assume a lot of you have these fundamentals figured out already.

OK, back to the lesson.

So the group is cool with you talking to their friend. Now you get your target super attracted. She’s receptive to you touching her. Maybe she’s touching you! Y’all might have even kissed. Now it’s important to take things a little further. You find out she has bad logistics. Maybe they all rode together or maybe she has a guy there that she’s ”talking” to. It’s time to go for a mini isolation. Say something like ”I’m gonna go grab a drink. Come take a walk.” If she’s attracted, she will comply and will probably take that walk with you. Getting her to the bar is just a small test to see how much compliance I can get from her. If she moves with you,she’s attracted. It’s also a maneuver so she’s not by her friends anymore. Once I get her to the bar I may chit chat with her a bit more,but not too long. I’ll eventually say something like…

“Well it was nice meeting you,but I’m about to leave. Come walk me to my car so I don’t get taken advantage of by all the drunk girls outside” (Take her by the hand and lead her to your car)

“Hey, I need to go grab my jacket/pen/chapstick/ out of my car…Come take a walk right quick”

Or you can just straight up say…….

“let’s go for a walk”

The guys who don’t have a car can still pull this off. Once a girl is very attracted she will follow your lead. You can still say ”hey let’s go catch some fresh air” and bring her outside. Try to find a spot that’s not too visible to everyone to see you two hooking up. Bring her to an alleyway. It’s sometimes good to search for a good isolation spot before you even enter the venue. Just so you’re not aimlessly walking around looking for a spot. Doing too much walking around and the girl will start to get too logical and start second guessing the whole thing. Going for a pull in public can also be great because there’s a strong chance she’ll want to go home with you after that. She may decide to go home with you right then and there! Take risks guys! Pull the trigger!

Until next time!

Nola

“Did you know that girl?”

Hello everyone!

Nola here to bring you my first blog post!

I hit the town with friends quite often. We’ll go out,have drinks,shoot the shit and meet new people. Of course we’ll end up interacting with the opposite sex. I got to the point now to where I’m not going out to LOOK for a girl. I’ve paid my dues as far as making it a point to go out and do cold approaches to develop my skillset. When I go out now,I’m looking to just have a good time and see where the night takes me. I’ve been gaming for a while now and it’s a permanent part of my identity. I don’t have to think about it too much!

If I see a girl that I find attractive I WILL approach her. What I say is strictly dictated on my state and how warmed up I am. If I’m already in a social mood it’s easy for me to approach a girl with a situational opener or something off the top of my head. If I’m still a bit hesitant on what to say then I’ll say something effective that I’ve used before. Some of you may be saying ”No! You should never use a pick up line or something you’ve said before.” I’ll tell you right now that EVERYONE has an arsenal of things they say all the time whether they want to admit it or not! Girls practice lines too! Girls go out to bars and clubs prepared with one liners they use on guys. Why not do it yourself?

Usually after I approach a girl, capture their attention and get them laughing I always get asked by my friends ”did you know that girl?” The answer is usually no. It always looks like I know her from the outsider perspective. It’s called assuming rapport. Assuming rapport comes in many different forms: My verbal introduction, positioning,body language,voice tone,how I’m touching her. All of that comes into play. Not only does it look like I know the girl from an outsiders perspective,but it makes the target that I’m approaching feel more comfortable. That’s the most important! The best way to approach a girl is to just start talking like you’ve known her for years. Skip the traditional ”hey my name is Bradly Smith I uhhh…just wanted to come and introduce myself because I thought you were gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink!?” In her head she’s thinking ”fuck no!” She’s most definitely been approached thousands of times with that traditional introduction. The whole time she’s trying to think of reasons to reject the guy while doing his spiel. And guess what?! She immediately knows how to weed those guys out unless they’re advanced already. It’s better to catch the girl off guard with something bold and original. She won’t have time to evaluate you and think of reasons to blow you out. She’s focusing on what you’re saying. Before you know it,the girl is completely invested and it’s easy to take it from there!

Thanks for reading!

Nola